Haha yeah, I'm starting to get used to the being alone thing. As dumb as it sounds I don't think that having a girlfriend is even worth it if she just makes you feel like crap all the time. It isn't anyone's fault but my own really, I just don't do well in any kind of long-term situation.
Got my blood test done. I hate needles but only just the sight of them. I figure this one was a lot larger; mainly to extract blood. I could literally feel it, absolutely horrifying. Arm is still numb. Its okay though, doesn't really affect my ability to sleep or play games.
I think I will have to stop playing soon though, its going to only get in the way of my school and life. I've reached my goal now though in LoL, 1900+ ELO rating on my main. My strategy was to play games on my smurf to calm my nerves and give me experience so I could win every match on ranked. Empty accomplishment though, nobody knows that I even play this game let alone am ranked so high.
Another Tubbies night passed now, I think I'll be alright. The more time passes by the less I actually care about the attention of others. It's a start at least. Les actually texted me that he wanted to go, I feel pretty bad cause the guy never makes it out. It sounded like he wasn't go since I was 'busy'. It looks like Allen is doing pretty well, I'm glad to see that my predicament doesn't affect his life with that community.
I'm a little lost right now but I know that every day I spend by myself I learn more and more, I'm going to keep going as far as I can before I go get my best friend back. Dumb choices, dumb choices. Or is it? She's smart, and knows that I'm a kid that's never grown up; am I now growing up?
edit (5:50 am): Although I'm feeling better about myself in general I'm pretty upset about Teagan and Brittany. Its like two people who just vanished from my life. What the hell? I only have Kaitlyn left to talk to, and she's starting to get annoyed... keep going...
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