Here I am. At the end of the road, the end of the semester. I think its pretty odd that the school semester only lasted for I think it was 10 weeks? Not a good look for me anyway, all that time spent skipping classes has really come to bite me in the ass. I started with 5 classes and I am now looking at failing all but 1. I look back at it and I can honestly say that I fucked up badly, and what do I have to show for it now? I seemed to have everything when I started the semester, all of the facets of my life were covered and everything seemed perfect. But now, I have almost nothing to show for it; reality hits pretty hard.
So I obviously failed in the school department, and as for my job we all know that I got fired. Financials aren't that bad, at least I get food money while I go to school. Money that I use on other stupid stuff instead, its like I'm an addict but I'm not. As always, girls is the only part of my life that even moves at all; but its still not as successful as I would like it to be. I've reverted back to sleeping with Teagan, I don't even know why I'm doing it as its pretty obvious I'm just leading her on. I also ran into the crazy Teagan couple of days ago, damn that kind of sucked; it was extremely awkward. I'm a big baby and blame her for everything that has happened to me in the last couple of months, so obviously I'm not her biggest fan. We laughed and such, but nothing came out of it and I blew her off on her birthday. I'll count that as a win in my book.
I get a second chance next semester, I think I'll only start with 4 classes this time and try to focus on all of those instead of doing what I did this time around. I'm starting to think that my problems I have everyday aren't real problems, no one seems to care this time around. Everyone just thinks that I have it great, take my ex Teagan for example. Last night I told Anna about it and my worries about me leading her on and such. Her advice to me was "She's fucking hot! Just bang her, don't worry about any of that emotional crap." Is it really that easy? Am I literally crying over nothing? I don't think so but I don't know anymore, I wish I had all my old friends again like it was high school.
I'm going to be a shut-in this winter, other than going out to see Teagan I don't think I'll be doing anything but staying at home. It feels stupid to say, but I think my life has burnt out for the meantime and maybe I just need to recharge.
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