This might actually be the first time I've written a second part to a post. But what can I say, my life is pretty jam packed. It looks like I might finally be bringing all my past drama to a close. The past couple of years have been an intense series of events that not even I could have imagined. A lot of it has been due to the exact same things. Such as my defining character traits such as laziness and an outgoing attitude or the people I know, primarily Anna and Kaitlyn.
I'm thinking maybe I've fixed it though and maybe I found out exactly what I need to do. I've been looking for someone to talk to, someone to help me with my problems and walk me through it. I think I've just realized that for some reason I constantly keep acting like a child. Always have acted like this, I never want to do any work, the only thing I want in the world is a real friend, and its always play before everything else. I could never say I was a hard worker and now I know I never even worked. I can never keep a job because after the job gets boring for me I don't want to go anymore. And at school... what am I even doing?
I didn't go for weeks and now I realize I'm in a heap of trouble and no amount of banter is going to get me out of this mess. I can't believe that it took this long for me to realize what I'm doing wrong. I'm not here to make friends, not here to meet girls, I'm here to learn and get somewhere someday. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to grow up and do some honest work for once, tough it out and actually do something I don't want to do. It's time for me to jump into the real world and stop blaming everything else for my shortcomings. I may be smart and sly but in no way is that good enough to float on by through the rest of my life.
I've closed the book on Anna, all the ties between us are broken and the only things left of her is the things she left behind, a memento of sorts. We're friends now, but its obvious we're not the best of friends; she's too scared of who I am and closes herself off to me. Worried that I might take to her again, I doubt it. Kaitlyn and I, we talk again now that she signed up with provider that gives her free international texting. Since she's moved to Cali I've seen her once, and its not the same talking over text message. I'm picky, and I think that being friends means actually hanging out a lot.
So from here on out its all for real, all serious. I hope I can still relax and otherwise flex my social muscles and entertain my humor, but who knows what the world has in store for me now!
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