Extraordinary Life

A ton of things have happened since the last time I've posted so I feel like it is a good time to run an update. Guess I'll start back on the week before my birthday. It was a pretty hard time for me to be honest. It actually all started when I went on Facebook a week before my birthday and I noticed that my chat box was missing someone important. Go to Anna's page and yeah, she unfriended me. That's okay I guess she was already blocking everything on her page anyways, but the part that bothered me was why. Why would she do something like that?

I called her and texted her and asked to see if she was still going to spend my birthday with me. She replied that she wasn't, that was okay too; I just wanted to know why. No response. I was angry, but only for a little as I quickly tried to find people to spend time with so I wouldn't be alone on my birthday. It was really looking like I was going to be alone after all. Until Sarah said she might be able to do the Friday, at least it was close to my birthday. Then I had a party to go to the night before my birthday as well. I was stood up on Friday, that was okay because well frankly I'm used to it. It didn't phase me all that much actually. Ben's party was the night right after, and for me it was the night that everything actually changed.

I hadn't been out for 2 months, and haven't talked to real people in such a long time. Compared to who I was before I was already radically different. I decided to go to the party because I knew I was ready to face the world again. Its been a long time since I had been to a house party, but at least it was a house party with old friends. It was fun playing the drinking games and I very quickly forgot about all my problems. I even made plans for the next day, my birthday. It was short notice but I quickly threw together a gaming party.

It was only two friends that came over, and all we did was play Brawl, Marvel, and Soul Calibur but it was still really nice compared to spending another mellow day alone. One thing did come out of it though, which was I texted Sarah. It turns out she just forgot and felt terrible about missing out on our plans and quickly rescheduled with me. I was fine with it of course, getting back into the groove of seeing people every day. I started to build up my contacts again talk to old friends, it felt good; at least for a while I forgot about Anna.

I invited Ryan and Keifer to come with me to Tubbies, Ryan loves Marvel and Keifer is pretty much down for anything these days. I knew I would see Anna there, and I also expected her to leave when I showed up. Like I thought she left when she saw me, that pretty much confirmed my suspicions. She was avoiding me. Further confirmed by reading her lips in a conversation, I knew exactly why. Over the years I've been able to read people and situations so well that I've gotten to the point where I can predict behavior. The truth is that I saw this coming the whole time. And if one where to look in my journal they would see that this is true. I had a theory for why too, but I was only 70% sure.

Fast forwards to last Friday, I went to my friend's place for a gaming party with a ton of people. There I saw Erin again, haven't seen her in a while. I began to talk to her and learned the rumors circulating about Anna. When I heard some things that I learned were actually true, my theory became 100% accurate. Erin even dropped to the same conclusion immediately without any goading. It wasn't Anna's fault and she definitely wasn't cutting people out of her life because of her own free will. I understand that now, and I'm sorry. Anna's always been the one to be manipulated and I realize now that I was wrong to shun her like I did months ago.

After hanging out and talking with Sarah, I confirmed my place in all of this. I know that I have to let her live her life as she wants. If she wants to talk to me then she can, if she wants to remove herself from my future then that is her choice. I know its as mundane as what happened between Sarah and Keifer and it sucks that I will probably lose my best friend from this. But there isn't really anything I could do.

So I moved on choosing to return to the fighting game community. I quickly learned that it was extremely broken and that no one sought to improve anymore. The competitive drive was sucked out when Corey left, and was completely gone when I left soon after. I thought that Simon would replace me as leader, but I was wrong for once in my life. He was useless, dropped the game when he didn't have anything left he needed to prove. When he though he won, without any leadership qualities I was disgusted. Our scene nearly died because of that mongoloid and it was all because he was useless and jealous.

Now though, I heard that Anna and Simon broke up. Looking back I remember saying to Anna that they would only last a couple more months and would break up by March. I feel responsible for it, but then again someone that despicable isn't worth her time. The only thing I feel right now is regret. She broke up with him... and I can't be there for my own best friend. In a way I hurt her more than anyone else and now I am paying the price.